This is what I tell myself when I’m going through a tough time or having a personal struggle.
“This is my story. I’m in my story”
Hard times make us stronger. They give us the juicy details that make up our life. They give us perspective. They give us lessons to teach others. We may know that to be true, but that statement doesn’t make it any easier to be in the hard times. And if you’re really feeling low, it can just sound annoying.
The “muck”, what I call the hard times, sucks. You may know many techniques to boost mood and feel better, but what happens if you can’t get there when you’re in the muck? Well, my friends, sometimes you just need to sit there in it for a bit.
Slosh around in the muddy muck. With some help and love from your shrink or a trusted friend. Don't be in it alone.
So often we want to push away heartache, pain and anger. Well...
Whatever we resist, persists.
We have to be in it, for just a bit, in order to get out of it.
And when you find an opportunity to crawl out, take it. But take it slowly. You can’t get up from a muddy, mucky puddle, drenched in dirt and slime and step right into a diamond encrusted robe that smells like chocolate chip cookies (so quickly).
It takes some time. And some patience. Step out of the mud and brush it off just a bit (using good coping), then brush off some more, and then building on your strength, allow the rain to come and wash all the muck away.
Getting out of a hard place takes time. Don’t beat yourself up or assume you should be able to get over things more quickly or move on more quickly. There IS a lesson in it. There is a gift in the hard times. It will be revealed soon.
Self-compassion is a gift.
The sun will come out. Just keep the faith.